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Kiwi is the dumbest fruit known to man
When I was cleaning up the kitchen earlier, I noticed that some kiwi that my wife had bought for my son — who is the only person in this house who actually likes that particular fruit — had gone bad.
As I threw the rotting brown balls into the food waste bag and pictured the dollar signs attached to each one, it struck me.
Kiwi is the dumbest fruit known to man.
I’m sorry, but what is the point of these things?
Kiwi isn’t even that good
First of all, they don’t even taste that great. Outside of garnishing tropical drinks or cheesecakes, are people really sitting down and struggling to extract the seeded green goo and stringy core from beneath that overly cumbersome peel?
At least when you peel an orange, which is far less onerous since you can just do it with your hands, you are getting the fresh taste we all know and love from this classic fruit.
That’s the reason those godforsaken kiwis went bad. They’re a huge pain to even open. If you manage to get the stupid thing peeled without losing half of the actual fruit, your hands are still going to be soaked in sticky fruitwater because kiwis are structurally unsound.
